They Were Stupid $20 Speakers


I have mixed success when I list stuff for sale on Craigslist.  However, most of my successes were in Pittsburgh.  Up there, you could unload almost anything within a day or two.  Then, whatever didn’t go, I’d put on Freecycle and almost immediately, whatever I listed was g-o-n-e.  I don’t know if that was a testament to the value of my junk, or Pittsburghers’ willingness to amass more crap.  I’m going with the first one.  Dennis will definitely say the second.

Let me back up a second and fill you in.  We have A LOT of crap.  We have so much crap that we can’t walk through our garage or basement.  We have crap from 25 years ago.  We have multiples of crap from three marriages.

It’s. That. Much. Crap.  Seriously.

Okay and to fill you in on point two, I hate to throw things away.  I’m not a hoarder (shut up, Dennis).  I don’t save every butter container, cereal box and two liter soda bottle that comes into the house.  I just hate perpetually throwing stuff into a landfill that either we’re going to go out and buy again new or someone else is going to spend inordinate amounts of money on.  To me, it makes sense.  Right?

Which brings me to the stupid.  Twenty dollar. Speakers.

We have three sets of console speakers.  We don’t need three sets of console speakers.  We really don’t even need one.  (We also have two surround sound systems, three dvd players and four tv’s, two of which don’t work…okay, I’m exaggerating.  It’s only 1 dvd player).

My ad read as follows:

“Pair of Fisher walnut finish console stereo speakers, fabric front, good condition.”

Simple enough, right?  I thought so.

Now, I have noticed two things since moving to Northern VA:

  1. Everyone wants to haggle.  (A guy knocked Dennis down from $15 to $13 on Jake’s old bike.  I mean, seriously??  Give me a break.)  I guess if you’re doing a lot of buying and a lot of haggling, it adds up.  But really!
  2. There are a disproportionate number of people who ask for pictures of items for sale, regardless of whether there’s a description or not.

So, now I think you begin to see my dilemma (and God bless you if you’re still with me.)

What followed was a ridiculous barrage of emails over the course of three days and NOT ONE said anything except for “do you have a model number?” or “do you have a picture?”

Now, if I sat down there and took a picture of every piece of that stinking crap, do you know how long it would take?   Yeah.  A long time.  Nuff said, K?

So, I modified my ad…hoping to find a sane person in all of NoVA that realizes that they’re stupid $20 speakers.

“Pair of Fisher walnut finish console stereo speakers, fabric front, good condition. I do not have a model number. I do not have pictures. $20 Firm. Please only respond if seriously interested.” 

And then I got spammed.  Porn spammed.

Is your merchandise still on sale? Sigh…this is perhaps odd but you might seem scorching hot in your listing. How about we get drinks anytime? I’m not a weirdo, just feeling lonesome. If you’re interested, meet me on my confidential dating profile (it’s like facebook for grownups), no cost to sign-up! My pictures and my cell # are all on there. After you log on, Im gonna to mail you a private message so you’ll know it’s me. There are too many bots on here so if you’re legit, text me and become beneficial friends and maybe more? You never know! Alright, I won’t annoy you again!

:headdesk: :headdesk: :headdesk:

edited to add porn spam message.

6 responses »

  1. Pittsburghers just like junk. There are always TONS of yard sales on every street, every saturday. People buy it, take it home, keep it for a while, realize they can’t use it, and sell it in a yard sale! I’ve done it myself. Had wooden salad bowls for years in my closet that I bought from a girl up the street. Never used them. Sold them in a yard sale. What can I say, Pittsburgers are a little nuts! LOL

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