Category Archives: It’s Life

All That and a Bag of Chips!

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Conversation in my house about an hour ago:

Hubster: Honey, who are the Yankees?

Me: New York’s baseball team

H: Who are the Dodgers?

M: LA’s baseball team

H: Who are the Redwings?

M: Detroit’s hockey team

H: The White Sox?

M: Chicago baseball

H: Who are the Blackhawks?

M: Chicago’s hockey team

H: The Seahawks?

M: Seattle’s football team

H: Reds?

M: Cincinnati’s baseball team

H: Sabres?

M: Buffalo’s hockey team

H: Pistons?

M: Detroit’s basketball team

H: Daaayuummm….

M: What’s that all about?

H: You’ll see in a minute.

M: Did my stock go up??  😀

H: Let’s just say I don’t know any women who could do that.

10 minutes later he showed me his Facebook status:

My wife’s respectability level just plummeted. She told me she was rooting for Jeff Gordon to win the Sprint Cup this year.

  • Comment #1 –  At least she didnt say she hopes the Yankees win a game again in their existence.  – about an hour ago · Edited · Like · 1
  • Hubster:  I just peppered her with 10 questions on sports team names. She got all 10 right. I was going to say she wouldn’t know a Yankee from a Dodger, but I guess I would be wrong!

Oh yeah…I rock!  (And all while making General Tso’s chicken too!)

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The Pizza Sauce Always Knocks – A comedic drama in two acts

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ACT 1:

We join our happy couple during an argument over pizza sauce.  The hubster adamantly insists that he bought one jar, but the wifester knows he bought two.  The following is an actual imitation reproduction of events earlier in the evening today before.  Let’s watch!

H:  I only bought one!!

W:  You bought two!

H:  I bought one!!

W:  You bought two!

H:  ONE!

M: TWO!

H:  ONE!

M: TWO!

H: Do you always have to be right??

M: YES!  Because I am always right!!  Do you  always have to be right!?

H: NO!

M: Then shut up, because by insisting that I’m wrong, you’re insisting that you have to be right!!

H: Harumph!!  ::storms off upstairs, muttering about women who have to be right all the time::

ACT 2:

We rejoin the happy couple just moments after the wifester retrieves the second jar of pizza sauce from the pantry shelf and the hubster is in the bathroom, with the door locked…umm…”thinking”.

(sound of pizza jar tapping on bathroom door)

:knock knock!:

H:  WHAT!?

W: Guess whooooooo??

H: NO!!

:knock knock knock!:

H: WHAT?????

W: Guess whooooooo!!  I’ll give you three hints…I’m red and in a glass jar and I’m pizza sauce!

H: Can’t I even take a crap in peace!?

W: Say it!!

:knock knock knock!:

W: Say it!!

:knock knock knock!:

W: Say it!!!!!

H: Say WHAT??

W: Say, “you were right, sweetie!!”

H: Asshole!!

W: Say, “you were right, sweetie!!”

H: ASSHOOOLLLEEEE!!

W: Say, “you were right, sweetie!!”

:knock knock knock!:

W: Say, “you were right, sweetie!!”

:knock knock knock!:

H: ASS—–HOOOLLLEEEE!!

W: SAY IT!!!

H: you were right, sweetie.

W: Thank! Yoooouuuu!!

(pause)

:knock knock knock!:

H:  WHAT???

W: Say “as yooooooo-suallll”

H: ASSHOLE!

W: I love you too, sweetie.

THE END

Of course I’m always right, I’m ME!

Holy CrAp Have I Been Busy!

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My blog notifications told me that someone “liked” one of my posts yesterday, which made me check my stats.  I found that there have been days when NO ONE VISITED ME!  This is horrible, just horrible!  Then I realized that I have been so stinking busy that I haven’t had time (or inclination) to blog in a while.  So, here’s an update on what’s been going on:

Diet Week 10 (or whatever the hell it is) – I’ve lost 15 lbs!  It is really hard, particularly when I’m doing fun stuff like baking apple pies (which I managed not to eat whole, thankyouverymuch…I left that to the Hubster.  He didn’t mind.)  It’s really awesome to have to wear a belt to hold up my pants. Pretty soon, I’ll have to go shopping!  Woot!

Death and Illness – Keeping up with tracking WW points has been rough this past week.  Sadly, the kids’ grandmother passed away on Wednesday, which led to a quickie visit to PA for the funeral on Friday.  This is just six months after their dad died, so it’s been a rough year for the kiddos.  On top of that, my uncle has not been well and it’s been touch and go for a couple of weeks.  I said at one point that it seems everyone I know is either unemployed or sick.  Your odds are not good if you know me.  If you just read my blog, you’ll probably escape with a mild cold and missing a day of work.  Lucky you.

Employment – Speaking of unemployment, after quitting my job in a very dramatic fashion, last week I started temping  for an agency while I keep looking for regular work.  My first temp job is sorting and tracking campaign contributions for the Romney campaign!  I think my mother summed this up really well when she simply said “karma”.  I’m so anti-Romney, I think I’d rather see Mickey Mouse in the White House than elect Romney.  Wait, that’s pretty much the same thing, isn’t it? (Which reminds me…I haven’t posted a political rant in a while.  Keep your eyes peeled for one soon.  I’ve got one simmering and if I don’t get it out soon, it’s going to stink like rotten eggs.)

Squirrels – And on a completely random and unrelated note, THEY’RE BACK!  It seems that the dry summer has seriously put a dent in the squirrel population and there have been far too few of the little critters to keep me sufficiently amused for quite a while.  However, the cooler weather has brought them out, looking for their winter nutty goodness, to my unconcealable delight.  Yesterday, I sat for MINUTES watching one sneak attack a group of band students, darting between trees and running up the backside as to remain virtually invisible.  (They are sneaky little critters, those squirrels).  I was utterly entertained and I’m sure I appeared quite mad as I sat giggling to myself for no apparent reason.  I guess the squirrels aren’t’ the only ones who are a little nuts.  😀

Curses! Foiled Again!

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I was writing a blog entry around 10am when my daughter interrupted me and asked if she could use the computer to finish her summer assignments that she was supposed to have done a month ago.  Oh…and her laptop has contracted the blue screen of death so she needs to use the family PC.

Three hours later, I read the post and have little interest in finishing it.  So, here it is in a nutshell.

I like to cook.  I’m good at it.

-The end.

And you wonder why my blog posts have been reduced to diagrams and maps.  There you go.

“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads….”

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I love this.  I have never been able to reach so far by doing so little.  It’s an amazing feeling.

The Internet knows no limits

As far as the eye can see….

Hey, Man…I’m With the Band

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Let me start this post off by saying that in high school, I was not in band. I hung around with a lot of band kids and they seemed to have a great time.  A lot of them were and are still very cool and I remain friends with them today. I didn’t know many of their parents though, so take this with a grain of salt.

That being said, I do not remember high school band parents being a particularly cool lot of folks.   Kids who are in band are referred to as “band geeks” (pretty much for a reason) and their parents were just older versions of band geeks.  Or were they…?

My daughter has been in band since elementary school and due to that perception of the band population as a whole, I never really got involved in it.  Last summer, she moved up to the high school and had to go to daily band “camp” over the summer.  I was only working part time then, so I volunteered to serve snacks to the kids one afternoon.  I also checked off a lot of boxes on the volunteer survey at band orientation, figuring I’d get a couple of additional gigs as a volunteer.  I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to it, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to be involved in something with Liz.

At band camp, I met a few moms who, little did I know at the time, are waaaay involved in band (read: they pretty much support the entire volunteer program).  They were very welcoming and friendly.  Before I knew it, I was signed up to do two other things…things that required meetings.  Ugh.  I hate meetings.  Again…all for my kid.

Meetings turned into more volunteering.  Volunteering turned into co-chairing an activity committee…which turned into more volunteering…which turned into volunteering for a board position…which turned into being nominated for Vice President of the Band Parents’ Association.

Wait, what??   How the hell did that happen!!???

So, now right now I’m the V.P. and serve as fundraising chairperson.  This month, I have about 6 meetings as we get ready for marching season.  I am so busy sometimes, my head spins.  But I’m having a BLAST!  The best part is that I discovered the other parents are COOL!!

The more I get to know these ladies, the more fun they are.  We have meetings over beers at a sports bar.  We planned to go see “Magic Mike” as a group and when that fell through, we planned a private screening at my house (naturally).  Last weekend, we had a pool party for the kids.  The moms, most of whom are fellow board members, sat in the pavilion, laughing, singing and dancing as loudly and badly as we could manage.  Afterward, I realized that not only did the kids have fun, but I had a really good time too.

So, here’s the question, at what point did things change, or did they?  Is this what I’ve been missing or is this group of people just an exceptional group?

I think it might be a little of both.  🙂

Money – It’s What I Want

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I am a gold digger.

HA!  I had to say that, just to make myself laugh.  Truth is, I have decided to start giving myself an allowance.  I am very bad about buying things for myself lately, always saying, “I don’t need it” or “That’s too much…I’ll wait for a sale”.  I’m great at bargain shopping, but even then, I don’t buy things for myself anymore.  I put everyone else ahead of what I want/need.

I work full-time now, but the Hubster is still looking professionally, so things have been tight.  But, I look at it this way – he is a pretty serious smoker and that can really add up!  So I figured out what he spends in a month on cigarettes and I’m going to pay myself an equal amount to do with as I please.  That way, I don’t feel guilty and I can spend or save whatever I want.

It may even motivate him to cut back on his smoking too.  Win/win situation!

They say I’m a crazy bitch.  I say they’re right.  Crazy like a foxy bitch. 😉

 

Coz I’m So Smoooooth

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Note:  To fully enjoy this post,  you should click on the links so the music can play while you visualize what I’m about to tell you, which sadly, is a completely accurate account of my drive home this afternoon.  Thank you.  Party on. 

I was driving in the car earlier, flipping through stations when Santana’s “Smooth” came on the radio.  I like the song, so I smiled and just as I did, the car hit a bump and dipped ever so slightly, causing my head to tilt and bob just so.

At that moment, my little self-smile turned into a smoooth, cooool, smile.

In my head, I looked like this:

Ah, yeah…I am sooo smoooth….

Like David Caruso in CSI Miami when he knows something and does his  head-tilted,  knowing, cool nod.

I popped down the visor mirror to see what my smoooth, cooool, smile actually looked like It was more like this:

See? Smoooo…**cough cough**…thhhhh….

By then, I was sitting at a red light, amusing myself by practicing my smoooth, cooool, smile (that only I could see) and I accidentally glanced at  two young dudes in the car next to me.   We made eye contact and I immediately became nervous.  What if they thought I was flirting at them with my smoooth, cooool, smile??

Then I realized that at their age (and mine), they probably saw this:

Well helloooo handsome!

Then I became depressed.

I flipped stations a few times, trying to get back my groove and finally AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” came on.

And suddenly, I was all like this:

I cranked it up and rocked out the rest of the drive home.

And in my head, I’m still one smoooth, cooool chick.

The sky is blue in my world.  Thank you very much for asking.  😉

Awwwesommmmeeee!!!

You Don’t Say! (A Unique Weirdness Fun Fact Moment)

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  1. I call my husband “Daddy” and my daddy “Fred”.  (His name is actually Rich).
  2. I eat peanut butter on a spoon every day at least once.
  3. I sleep with earplugs because I snore.  (The Hubster hates my snoring, so he puts on the t.v.  I can’t sleep with the t.v. on, so I wear earplugs.)
  4. I’m deathly afraid of squid.
  5. I share a birthday with Al Roker and Robert Plant – I think the resemblance is obvious.
  6. I talk to dead people every day.  Sometimes they answer.
  7. I cannot brush my teeth without putting my left hand on my hip.
  8. I hate massages.  (I also hate the Beatles and Harry Potter.  I am not normal.)
  9. The only bone I’ve ever broken is the distal tuft of the middle finger on my right hand.  It permanently deformed my finger.  I like showing it to people.
  10. I am actually pretty shy and secretly fear that people won’t like me.  (Okay, I made that one up.  No I didn’t.  Yes, I did.  Okay, which is it?  I’ll never tell.)