Tag Archives: eating

If It Had Been an Easter Squirrel, This Never Would Have Happened

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You know that horrible moment when you see a picture of yourself and you look like someone Photoshopped your head onto someone else’s body…only supersized?  Yeah, that happened to me the other day.  I saw my picture and went, “holy shit, who is that and how did she get my head?!”

It wasn’t pretty.

I blame the Easter Bunny.

You see, the Easter Bunny brought 10 lbs of candy into this house for two kids.  Realizing his error, the Easter Bunny  decided to stash the extra 8lbs in my closet.  I found said 8 lbs of chocolate and…good Samaritan that I am… I helped that damned Easter Bunny clear out his extra inventory by getting rid of it…one delicious, gooey, peanut butter-filled,  fun-sized, 20 servings per bag, bite at a time.  

Here we are in July and I can show you exactly where those 8 lbs of chocolate went, along with two more of its cheesy cousins.  And about 5 more from the year before that…and the year before that.  Dammit.  If it was an Easter Squirrel, this never would have happened.  (There’s a nut joke in there somewhere, but I’m just too lazy to reach for it.)

So, next week I start Weight Watchers and Zumba classes.  Why not this week?  Because I still have cupcakes left, okay??

So, if you’re in the same boat as me, we’re sunk…ha-ha…just kidding.  Seriously, hop on board and lets see if we can do this together! Note: that just sounds way too motivational speaker-ish.  You should slap me now.  Seriously.

Anyway, here is my “Before” picture.  Blecch.

I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

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